A strange sensation to find yourself at a point where though you're living, breathing - existing, you can't find a single reason for your existance or even a sense of self. Well, it's exactly what I'm feeling currently. I realised, while sitting with my back against the wall, that I had no idea who I was anymore. It's as though, when displaying a variety of different masks to the world, you forget how it is to be without them. I thought once that I was myself some of the time but now I don't know what that is, or even if I ever felt like I knew. And it was then that I realised how much there is missing. You can be surrounded by people who care, yet feel like the loneliest person on earth. I have had people there for me before, and I know how it is to be cared for yet I feel should I disappear, not many people would remember me.

How can I expect people to remember me for a reason when I can't give reason to myself living... or even explain who I am that should mean something to someone.

This makes little sense. I'm not sure I can make sense of something I don't know or don't understand in myself. So I suppose it's where the journey starts. I suppose now I go about finding something I can't remember whether I Lost - without even knowing where I last had it or if I ever had it.

Untitled & unnecessary

The constant meander of
a drumming, a pounding
drilling of altogether nothing
reliving the moment of disappointment
never reaching a destination
traveling to the horizon
chasing it the whole way around
a never ending conundrum


I felt it didn't really fit in my gallery at the moment, especially as it's in the works.